A mouse and a lion walk into a bar, and they're sitting there chugging away at a few ales when a giraffe walks in. 'Get a load of her' says the mouse, 'I fancy that!'

'Well, why not try your luck?' says the lion.

So the mouse goes over to the giraffe and starts talking to her, and within five minutes they're out the door and gone into the night.

Next day, the lion is in the bar drinking away, and the mouse staggers in. And I do mean 'staggers'. The mouse is absolutely stuffed, worn out, ruined, an ex-mouse (and no, it wasn't Ex-Mouse Eve).

The lion helps his pal up on to a stool, pours a drink down his throat and says 'What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?'

The mouse says 'Yeah, she was really something else - we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I've never had a night like it!'

'But how come you look like you're so exhausted?' asks the lion.

'Well' says the mouse 'between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!'